....after painting...or drawing....i never clean up the mess that is left....I never do it because...it takes all my strength....I know it might sound stupid...all right not might....It does sound stupid....
...here we go again....tired....it's the same thing again...I am so tired...so tired of this routine....we are our worst enemies...fetters....fetters fetters....long fetters tight fetters...heavy fetters...
I am scared to ask him how he is feeling in case he will say that its bad...I know it's bad...I just don't want to hear it anymore...because the guilt comes...I feel guilty....and it hurts just sitting and reading all this....like its some good book...like its a great book based on true story....and then when the time passes....I close the book...and get back to my life...or fall asleep....until the next day...
I am running out of words....comforting words....my fairytale snapped in front of me....and I am still keeping those pieces....because I am like this....I look at what is left from the thought...and think about it more...try to understand it...which creates even more doubts really..it is almost like a grief....i am grieving over another beautiful thought....which got trashed by what he calls it REAL WORLD....I don't want real world....
I just don't get the purpose of me....in this whole thing....what am I to him?....why does he need me?....I am only a kid....kid with this perfect imaginary world in her mind....those straight morals...which get lost in REAL WORLD...just a kid....
"Free as Nature's first intenntion
Was to make us,I'll be found''-The Unequal Fetters by: Anne Finch
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